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Tom Segura

Comments

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1 say ur crushes name 10 times
2 go to where u can change password in ur phone
3 change password while closing ur eyes and saying ur crushes name
4 immediately close ur phone while saying a day u want to go out with him/her.
5 try to open ur phone.
6 realize u can't because u don't remember the password u put in.
7 get really depressed and try to jailbreak ur phone
8 realize u can't and throw away ur phone because you've been trolled

( ur crush will spill hot coffee on ur lap on the day u chose
Report as inappropriate
Right up there with Louie ck and bill burr if you ask me
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Sucks
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I suck his dick
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Having sex with him would be so fun and I love when the men push hard and I would suck on his dick cause it would feel so good having him putting his dick in me cause he is Dr Sex
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Just lie. Lie for longer.
I use this line at least once a day now
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Dverespey has bad taste but Tom is an inspiration for my standup
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*laughing so hard*
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hollanddanie
Want some teeth? It's on me.
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laswell618
Man this guy cracks me up.
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jiffy puff
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Bush did 9/11
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Crap
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Uhh... It s Tom now
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jordan.amare . w
Gfhgjhihfgfg f g g h g h h j g j g h y h y u h g h g u h g g h g u y u g u g g f g f y g g g g g g u g t u g h h g h v h h
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jordan.amare . w
Gffffy chuffing
Adssde
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I like how a boy named sue used this as a forum to beg for church money, and I'm not good at religious stuff but Jesus isn't God, he's his son Sue (Art of War lol) I'm stupid ��
Report as inappropriate
Love how half his jokes are just him making fun of himself for being overweight and how he is so comfortable with it.
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chipw9
To answer Ms. Angie Jimenez's question, comedian John Heffron (if you're referring to the bit about I can't breathe! when he was grounded to his room. I hope that helps.
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T I G E R
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Know this has nothing to do with this comedian but does anyone know the name of that guy that says "what are you gonna do ground me? I'm already grounded."
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f6
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Cricket and jellyfish
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heathdew01
Sucs
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I tell hew hwhat, I tell hew hwhat. lmao, this is legen (wait for it)...
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Hilarious
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If this dude died I would go into mourning for two weeks. This guy a my favorite. His podcast with him and his wife are hilarious.
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he's not dead... ��
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This guys humor;,) so funny
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cottonbales2
Funny dude
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Oh yea i remember when they picked me up and we had pancakes
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zfeliciano
I love him
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Blue
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That cackling laugher in the background.. . . Geez.... Somebody gag that lady...
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Funny
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No, he's not dead. He's alive and ripping on brown people. Suck it brown people.
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This this is my thing
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After an extensive 1 minute online search... Tom Segura is alive. Not dead, opposite of dead. Alive.
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Rip tom
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wyndfire01
Nope. Alive in l.a.
Report as inappropriate
Paola worxia (miguel flores1759)
Should get a pilots license and aim at her own ugly a** selfie face...fuckn sand nig piece of goat s**t lol
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roycardenas5 5
I see people here saying he copied John Mulaney, but it seems more like maybe Gabriel Iglesias came in and stole a thing or two or vise-versa no idea, they seem like very very similar jokes
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Tom Segura died?
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speedyja.alm a g u e r f**k u the guy dief 5 or 6 hours ago show respect for a comedy legend
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Say iPhone 5 times
Say the color
Post this to 5 songs
Look under your pillow
Report as inappropriate
Say iPhone 5 times
Say the color
Post this to 5 songs
Look under your pillow
Report as inappropriate
Very funny if u don't like ur dumb
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I think he's really funny and should make another cd
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This Guy sucks
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10ray68
Miguelflores is a skank
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