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Diagoras of Melos

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The first music I loved was Kenny Rogers and the Bee Gees, Pink Floyd, the Beatles, Led Zeppelin. They were the albums my mom had. My brother and I would play them, dancing around until we got light-headed. My life has always had a soundtrack. Crocodile Rock in the Texas Suburban and the whole family singing along. A dozen and a half musical I found my way into. (Feel my undying hatred Grease. Feel it!) Musicals from the 40's stuck in my head. Singing Moon River in the shower. Squeezed into the Geo Metro de Max clown-car style rocking out to Interplanet Janet. I played in marching an' other such school bands - then, drummed in a goth band. We sucked muchly. I wore an obnoxiously bright yellow Hawaiian shirt to gigs - which I'm certain my bandmates *loved*, clad as they were, in Cure-shirts and girls' jeans to show off their gaunt frames. You may be wondering about my standard issue moniker. Diagoras was a poem-slinging lad from the 5th century BC. He was a skeptic, critic, and sophist (the ancient meaning, not the more modern sort). He denounced the orthodox religions of his time, and mocked the Eleusinian Mysteries. When on a boat in a storm, one of the theistically-inclined sailors wailed that this ill-weather was their fault for bring such an ungodly man aboard. Diagoras grinned his wee grin and queried whether the other boats out in the storm also had a Diagoras. The name choice was not an oops-moment. I have no faith in your gods. Not a single one of them. Even the small ones. Like the traffic light god. Or the god of making-the-five-extra-snooze-minutes-feel-like-twenty. Nor do I have faith in the more popular sorts of gods - Jehovah, Allah and Jesus. Not the Deist god-of-the-gaps. Nor the tricksters - Coyote, Raven, and Spider. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Until such is tendered, I'll be over here, eating the fruit of knowledge.

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