"I am eighteen and don't know what I want"
I have everything yet I feel empty inside like I don't matter. I used to be social but its become less and less to the point I have no real friends and I am lonely and depressed. I feel lost. I try to fit in only to find I am all alone. Even I am growing farther from my family and girlfriend. I want to have someone to listen to how I feel but instead I put on a fake outside. If I can even say what I feel truthfully I don't know! Everything would be better but truthfully I don't know how to describe it. But, no one feels like me so I am alone. Music is my best friend without my depression I would never have discovered all these awesome bands. So I am thankful for that.But I am still depressed, I hope to find a someone who will just listen to music with me and it will speak to how I feel and they most importantly will just be there. I am tired of small talk or pretending to be something that I am not. I have never done drugs, and am a straight A student but, I feel dead. I wish sometimes that I would go to sleep and never wake up, I could never commit suicide but I wish I it could just end. Life gets harder as it goes on and "ohh the years burn" . So I wait and hope for a brighter future because right now I feel like I am "Down in a Hole" and loosing control. Heaven let your light shine down. So I wait for what I need even if I don't know what it is