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Jonathan Matthew Baker

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A long time ago, well not that long it is only 23 years ago, in a small Alabamian town there was born an ego. That ego dreamed of one day being a real boy, so he set out on a journey to find the magical fairy of that place I can't mention due to copyright infringement laws. Upon finding her he realized that she was the same one who used to handle Sleeping Beauty; seeing how she screwed that one up he turned tail and fled to start the journey of a lifetime, or 3. He traveled the world doing odd jobs that no one else wanted, well at least that's what he told his employers. He used to tune George Harrison's guitar, where he meet Yoko Ono and told her what the guys really thought of her. This then lead to constant bickering between her and John leading into him writing "Happiness is a Warm Gun"; and you thought that was about an old relationship, and the eventual lose of a musical legend. ( Now you know where Courntey Love got her ideas ) He then rodied for the world famous Deathklok, upon drinking with Pickles he made fun of Toki and Swisgars accents causeing mass histeria and the two of them throwing him out the window, luckily he landed on Dr. Rockso's missing body. He was the back up vocals on "What is Love" and is credited with writing all of Limp Biskit's songs. He is quoted later apoligizing to all of music for the horrible monster he released; but did confirm the rumors that Fred Durst is in all reality Lemont Cranston wealthy man about town. He also wrote the first chapter of the dead sea scrolls. All this while he lead a group of 12 ople acrosss a desert with the help of his best friend Rufus, who he still owes $12. But, he ain't seeing that money anytimes soon thanks to the Romans, two pieces of wood, and a few nails. Now, he randomly appears in pieces of toast, or your bowl of corn flakes just to check on things, and to make sure no one finds where he hide Jimmy Hoffa's body.

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